My body had never felt so small or so fragile. In one sense, it was a moment of ecstasy and I was comforted with soft, almost compassionate, encouragement. Delicate, she said. The word imprinted on me like the cold before it. I was weak and going numb, but I was delicate. This is what I had wanted. I wanted to lose weight and retain some ounce of delicacy to resemble that of the spider-figured women I had seen in all those flashing images. Suddenly, the lack of strength displayed by my body was counterbalanced with a surging lease of mental satisfaction and might. As I lay in bed, buried under all my layers of clothes and bed sheets, the warmth still could not reach me. It was too late for that now and I didn’t care. I just wanted to sleep, basking in my success and enduring the cold until I could finally slip into a forgetful slumber.
‘My Secret Life: A Memoir of Bulimia’ by Leanne Waters will be available on Kindle next week.
Leanne's book will be launched on Tuesday November 1st in the Dublin Bookshop on Grafton street. All are welcome!
RSVP to the launch of My Secret Life: A Memoir of Bulimia by clicking here!